6.21.2005

Nightmare

It started out as a slightly disturbing dream, in which I was smoking alot of cigarettes to calm myself...I was in a van/truck thing that was driving too fast, and in a horrid neighborhood. We tried to take a hitchhiker home and he lived up on a very steep hill and our E-brake didnt work so we kept slipping back down towards the freeway.
The scene changed suddenly, and I was in a wooded area with my boy and my little brother among other kids...my parents were in the basement of this old barn, negotiating the price of something or other, and I thought my brother was doing a good enough job of watching my boy, so I went to see what the parents were doing. There was a rushing river very closeby, and I realized that with horror when I looked in the distance and saw my brother chasing my boy right towards it. I started screaming for my boy to stop, and my brother saw what he was doing, and ran as fast as he could to catch up, jumped in front of the boy, and pushed him backwards and away from the river, I thought we were on the safe side, so I chased the boy, trying to catch him so I could keep an eye on him myself. He was so fast It was hard to keep up and suddenly the kids who lived in this area were all screaming at me, "the well the well!!!" I took my eyes off of my fast running boy and looked ahead of him, and sure enough, a small (large enough for him to fall into) uncovered well. It really was a nasty septic tank sort of thing, but in the dream we all called it a well. Hunter fell in head first, as I dove for his leg. I managed to catch the very tip of his toe, and it felt like forever that I struggled to hang on, pinching his little toe so hard, desperately trying not to let go. I did it, I kept him safe, and was able to get him out of the well. I just broke down at that point, screaming at him and crying hysterically. I took him and ran back to my parents, screaming at them and trying to tell the story...It was a very tense dream and I don't ever care to have another like it. I woke up with an insatiable desire to scoop up my boy and smother himwith kisses, but I resisted and let him sleep. It is not even 6 AM after all. Cripes.

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